April 2009
1 post
economic stimulus package
http://www.babeland.com/sexinfo/features/economic-stimulus-package/
March 2009
2 posts
February 2009
3 posts
eye patch guy on craigslist
i was going to post screenshots,etc of this very same thing, but someone already has.. so im just linking to their blog…
http://brothercyst.blogspot.com/2009/02/craigslist-missed-connections-stories.html
i love instant messaging sometimes. - Topper
this is pretty much verbatim how it was typed. i only changed the names to protect the innocent.
3:37pm-foreign girl who cannot spell worth a damn hi topper do you remember me 3:37pm me of course! how are you 3:37pm-foreign girl who cannot spell worth a damn do you move to brooklyn 3:38pm me ive always lived in brooklyn 3:38pm-foreign girl who cannot spell worth a damn in bedford.. i have to ask...
January 2009
2 posts
Unbelievably Past-Due Update - by Kitty
Topper’s totally right. We have been quite remiss in posting. Yes, holidays holiday holidays and winter blahs have contributed. But also: laziness! So in Monday morning ESPN-style wrap-up, let me get you up to speed. When I last left off the T.P. story I had predicted the Facebook “In a Relationship” status would be changing in a week. My timing was off. But my instincts were...
blue light special on aisle 4 - by topper
call it the holiday slump. call it the new year. call it what you will, its been too long since a new post has gone up. its a new year, a new president gets sworn in tomorrow, there is snow on the ground, its time for some action. i just have one question…
why is it that almost the exact moment when you start being interested in someone and forget about all the other potential partners out...
December 2008
12 posts
7 tags
Beware: Cougars ready to Pounce - by Topper
Dating in this city sometimes makes me feel like such a piece of shit. I’m just minding my own business, trying to keep my head down and then along comes someone ruffling feathers. I woke up the other morning to a coworker in my bed. WTF. Why are you here? How did this happen? We didnt have sex did we? (No? Oh Thank God!) Can you please leave now? Weren’t you hitting on my friend...
11 tags
My Life as 'Knocked Up' plot points - by Topper
1. boy meets girl throught internet dating website.
2. boy and girl go on a few casual dates.
3. boy and girl engage in sexual intercourse.
4. relationship never really takes off, lacks inertia to continue.
5. month goes by with not much contact.
6. girl calls boy to tell him she is pregnant.
7. girl has already made decision to get abortion, yet calls boy to discuss.
8. girl goes through...
9 tags
12 tags
My life as "thirtysomething" plot points - by...
Girl and boy fall in love in their teens and becoming wildly devoted to each other. Against all odds they are happy and move to The Big City.
Boy and Girl get married partially out of love, partially to say, “fuck you” to their landlords. They’re married in secret and their anachronistic relationship is just the thing the Girl always dreamed of.
Girl wants a baby and Boy...
girl, dont go away mad, just go away - by Topper
shit. 1 person leaves a comment on here and all the sudden i have a conscience. actual people could be reading this horseshit i write on here. i guess thats what a blog is though right.. a web log.
i have been seeing girl X off and on for awhile now. it started out casual right after Kitty and I stopped seeing each other. what started out casual eventually got sticky and now its gotten to the...
6 tags
To Unfriend or Not to Unfriend, That Is the...
The paperbag-head guy from below (to be known henceforth as Tony Pepperoni/TP) apparently needed love. A love that I cannot give. A love that said to the whole world, “Hey! I am loved by this chick!” A love that was deep and true, and like meaningful and stuff. A love that was willing to announce itself on Facebook. How do I know this? Well, aside from him asking me, “So what are...
5 tags
Why I don't like "nice" guys - by Kitty
I met a guy on the internet and we started dating (not Topper). I was shocked and amazed that this one was normal. He didn’t seem to have any immediate errors, such as but not limited to: pencil dick (as a girl, you never know what you’re gonna get [thx Forrest Gump]); inappropriate creepy text messages too soon; fear of post-first date contact; a wife; etc. I immediately get swoony...
November 2008
3 posts
7 tags
How to dump a girl via text - by kitty
My name’s not Kitty and Topper’s isn’t his, either. I mean, I’m sure you know that, because who names people names like that? But we’ve chosen anonymity for reasons that will be obvious. You know those things that you think about the person you’re dating but you’d never dare to say it to their face - like, “God, he’s really not good looking...
internet dating 101 - by topper
okay, so awhile back i succumbed to exploring the whole internet dating phenomenon. originally, I, like everyone else, assumed meeting someone online was for losers. but there was a part of me that for some reason one day thought it might be a fun social experiment to try it out and meet some people that weren’t friends of friends or that i met at a bar or a party somewhere. what is the...
